Meinhaj Hussain, email@example.com
KABUL - US and NATO soldiers are running out of supplies in Afghanistan due to the border closure with Pakistan. The United States has made a private special request to the Pakistani government to allow the supply of tissue paper and pampers to go through because of an acute shortage. In case you are wondering about the latter, US soldiers wear pampers while fighting in Afghanistan because the soldiers, often young kids unable to pay for college, frequently piss in their pants when engaging the Taliban.
Meanwhile, it has been learned that the Popeye's fast food outlet serving US and NATO forces has run out of supplies. Guess no Popeye's this holiday season.
The Government of Pakistan and the Pakistan military are considering the US request to allow the pampers and tissue papers on an urgent basis. We would urge the Government of Pakistan not to allow these supplies to go through no matter how urgent their need.